I will survive! (hopefully) XD

Inspired by a post i just read at Blurtitout.org – DEPRESSION: 10 QUOTES WHICH HELP US THROUGH TOUGH DAYS

“The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.”
– Juliette Lewis

Saw the above quote that makes me wonder, all those times i survived a breakdown, was i brave or just scared to leave this world~ ^^” I’ve had a friend who once said i was strong.. i’m always skeptical about that.. was i strong..? i thought i was just a coward for fearing death~ i mean, you never know what’s on the other side, especially for someone who has no faith in religion like me.. ideally i’d simply stop existing. BUT if my “appointed” religion happens to be the real deal, then for sure i’d be tossed into hell.. and if that really were to happen, i might as well i continue living in this world and try enjoy what little happiness i can find first..? tho yea, they say depression is almost like having hell inside your head already.. but i think hell if really exist will be depression x 2 at least? O.o better to play safe and try stay alive as long as possible..

I don’t know what made me continue living.. maybe it’s the fear that hell might exist. i felt like i was trapped inside a glass cage. people outside looking at me, laughing, leering, condescending~ but one day, finally, someone nice reached out to me from another side of the cage.. it was amazing to meet someone so understanding, so accepting~ so years ago, when i broke down, I kept telling myself..

Don’t.. Don’t do it.. angel will be so sad.. you don’t want to make angel sad..
angel already has so much problem.. don’t upset angel…

i survived that breakdown. but the next thing i know, the troubled angel had to let go. it felt terrible then – to be left alone again to face all the meanies outside.. i thought we could help each other~ i don’t hate or blame the angel. on the contrary, i still worry for her and always wish her well~ i just felt useless for not being able to help.. it’s hard to help someone who couldn’t talk to you..

And so, the next breakdown i had after that incident, i somehow overcome it without any support. as usual, there’s no one to calm me down or talk to me. but the problem is that by then, i can’t even give myself a reason as to why i shouldn’t do anything harmful. so i don’t know how i somehow survived that breakdown really.. not trying to blow my own trumpet, but i’m still amazed and wonder how the hell i passed that day.. it’s weird~ there were so many tempting factors. so many theories i knew that can help me successfully end this life.. i don’t know how i avoided trying anything that day though.. Maybe that was when i came up with the don’t go to hell yet idea~? ^^”

every other day, i can hear those meanies, but i distance myself away from them by not looking at them.. there’s also bloody tim in my head to deal with.. i distract myself by playing games. but it doesn’t change the fact that they exist. i may not hear them much, but i still recall sometimes. it’s hard not to. easy for people to tell me “don’t think about it”.. well, i’m the one with depression, so yea~ you don’t tell someone with cancer to stop producing cancerous cells right? O.o i’m tired of hearing such advice~ =__=” I was lucky during my last breakdown~ i told a friend –

“i’ve lost faith in religion, family, counselor, friends, and doctor.
i don’t even know what’s keeping me alive.”

kinda odd to say that to a friend hey..? ^^” but yea, i’m glad she was there for me to text to.. i somehow made it through that day.. and somehow slowly improve little by little. took me about a month-ish to feel “normal” again.. kinda makes me envious of people who can simply “don’t care about them” or “don’t think about it”.. wish it’s that easy for me~

For now it feels like my cage is expanding.. feels like there’s more space for me to move around.. in fact it’s almost starting to feel like i can walk in parallel with those people on the outside.. makes me kinda hopeful.. and scared.. hehe.. after more than 10yrs of crap, it can be scary to get hopeful~ XD so i’m prepared for the worst.. just in case this cage starts shrinking again.. just in case the glass gets thin again and i can hear the meanies outside clearly again~ that’s probably why i kinda.. errr.. shut myself out~ ^^” or it is box myself in? lol~ when surrounded by people who can’t understand, trying to explain to them each time and failing every time can really add on to the negative feelings~

Many people tend to tell me to think positive~ i think they still don’t get the part about how, with depression, it’s hard to JUST think positive. when you’ve been falling down over and over and over again for 10yrs, rather than think positive, i’d rather think practical. I’d rather be prepared for the worst, so that when it happens, it’ll be kinda, “expected”.. i’ll not be too shocked or too hurt or too surprised by the fact that i’m breaking down, again. I know people avoid me for not being a very positive person~ it’s their choice, and i can’t help it. i avoid the positive-to-a-fault people too~ XD i prefer practical/ready-for-rainy-days people~

I must remember, i have to put myself first before others – because when i fall, there’s usually no one there for me but myself. I have to protect myself to live~

“You just keep living, until you feel alive again.” – Jennifer Worth


It’s Depression Awareness Week~

I’ve been feeling kinda crappy the last few days.. A few problems came up and there’s so much to do.. I’m still annoyed by how limited I am with using wordpress.com for a portfolio website.. I think I might need to spend some money on my portfolio site.. sigh.. There’s still the reminder letter asking me to renew Frozenfa license.. I still wonder if I should keep renewing.. Frozenfa is like my baby, I can’t bear to give up on her..

So I was kinda surprised to find out just an hour ago that it’s Depression Awareness Week~ Read some articles from TheMighty.com and Blurt.. it got me thinking about how just last “night” I was staying up to listen to a friend’s problem.. when I end up being the one who got emotional, but hey, by the time i was listening to my friend it’s already 6.30am, I’m exhausted from working on my portfolio.. but somehow I end up writing about things I’ve always felt, but never mentioned out loud.. It was emotionally exhausting, and 1hr later i went to bed more emotionally exhausted than physically exhausted.. and even after a 7hr of on/off sleep, I still end up feeling exhausted most of today.

Now this really suck. There’s so many shit to do and the last thing I want is to be slowed down.. I’ve been encouraging some of my friends who’ve been feeling down.. and then now when I’m down.. I don’t even know who to help cheer me up~ XD Shit thing about surviving multiple breakdowns and receiving almost no help to get back up is that each time shit happens, you don’t know who to get help from. Sure, there have been several friends who’ve kindly offered to listen to me.. But I guess I’m done and tired of trying to tell people my problems, and even more tired of hoping to get some “understanding”~

I created Frozenfa to help me express.. and hopefully help others who can relate to my drawings express themselves too.. but it’s kind of sad how I seem to have lost inspiration to draw more as I see more and more of my friends artworks being stolen and sold as cheap made in china or made in Thailand products.. My friends.. those artists.. they’ve worked so hard to produce their art. to earn a living from it. And yet businesses in Bugis and Somerset and I don’t wanna know where else in Singapore, are selling those stolen designs on tote bags, leather purses and all like it’s nothing! People in the business scene can be so ugly, I lost all mood to make new drawings. I’ve even lost mood to open a pushcart again.

Sure, some may say “it’s not like your artwork is the one getting stolen”~ Easy for them to say so~ For years, ever since I started collaborating with Karin, every few months I’d have a nightmare seeing mine and Karin’s work being sold at cheap prices in shops. Imagine how traumatic is it for me to actually see my own nightmares 1 by 1 turning into reality? I saw Ellen’s works stolen, Toru Sanogawa’s works stolen, and now I saw sweet Karin’s artworks stolen!! The shittiest part is all these businesses CAN and WILL continue to sell stolen designs because not everyone can afford to hire lawyers internationally to start a lawsuit! It’s disgusting!! So much bullshit about IP rights and all, but in the end, unless you can afford a goddamn lawyer, you can’t get these thieves to stop selling your artworks. At most you can ask them to please take it down. They’d take it down for awhile.. and then they’d put it right back up~ I know because that’s what the pushcart at Bugis Junction did! How is a housewife supposed to afford hiring lawyers in multiple countries??? Who can afford that kind of money?! We’re not some superstars. We’re just artists trying to earn what little we can!

In a way I’m glad I never agreed to accept one customer’s offer for some partnership rights. She wanted to partner with me, saying that with her contacts, she can get products featuring TIM in bookshops like Popular etc~ But she kept insisting about how it’s cheaper to print and produce in Thailand, and even cheaper still if done in china. -_- And all the while she produced zero paperwork to show me what is her actual proposed plans. A few meetings was held but everything’s just verbal. And she expects me to agree? When she kept thinking of mass production in Thailand/china? My friends are not even printing anything in those countries and already their artwork is stolen and mass produced from there! Karin once bought me a tshirt from the local art market as a birthday gift, and that lady who wanted to partner with me even commented on how her friend bought the same design I was wearing at Thailand for less than 1/3 the price Karin paid for my prezzie! And we bought it from the original artist’s stall! There they are trying to earn a living in their home country, and in Thailand people are buying the same designs for less than 1/3 the original price and are damn smug about it!

So far I’ve only managed to photograph 1 of the pushcart at Bugis Junction as part of evidence. I’ll confirm with Karin for permission first before sharing the shop’s name with everyone. I sincerely hope then, that people will support by not buying their products. Original artists gets nothing from stolen artworks, damn it. How will you like it if you finished your job and someone else submits it to your boss and gets your salary instead?

Some said it’s silly of me to let go of such opportunities.. But Frozenfa is my life.. T.I.M. is basically me. I don’t want people stealing him. Which is probably why I’ve stopped uploading new designs online, though I have a whole bunch scanned etc.. He’s a monster. But he’s my monster. If I can feel so pissed and upset looking at all my beloved friends’ artworks stolen, I can’t imagine how I’d feel if Tim gets stolen as well~

I think I’ve been ranting far too much.. If you’re still reading this, thank you for hearing me out.. ^^” Sorry about the long ranting.. just need to get some frustration out somewhere.. and since it happens to be Depression Awareness Week, I think no better time to do some much needed venting hey? ^^” I better logoff and head to sleep.. Gotta company mum to polyclinic to get dental referral in… shoot.. 4hrs time.. argh! need to get new inhaler and prednisolone too since there’s been so much burning every day this Hungry Ghost Month and darn neighbor next door won’t quit smoking at our shared corridor.. >_<

Restructuring this blog~

Hmmm… I don’t think anyone reads this blog anymore, but I think I should just make an update hey? 🙂 I’m working on my portfolio at the moment and I’m planning to use this blog as a platform rather than spending on web hosting again~ As you can see, I’m already using a different theme and changed the blog’s structure a little.. Most likely I’ll have a static page load instead of my usual blog posts.. By the way, sorry about all the broken links in my previous posts.. seems like fb changed the url for loading photos~ =__=” I’ll work on loading photos directly via this blog instead later~ ^_^”

Mental Health on The MightyBefore I sign off, I’d like to share this facebook page that I’m a fan of: Mental Health on The Mighty. I hope, more people will check out their fb, or better still, their website~ Take some time to read the articles there, especially if you know someone who might be suffering from a mental disease. Sometimes, it’s very easy to think that that somebody’s just being moody.. it’s just a phase.. but once you’ve read more, you might come to understand that there might be a reason why the kid’s screaming out his lungs and throwing tantrum like a spoilt brat? Why the mother just staring? Why he’s hitting her? Why she’s cutting herself? Why she’s suddenly so so SO happy? What’s wrong with that nutcase?!

It’s not just a phase.. Mental disease is nothing like your typical flu~ It doesn’t go away just like that~ Try reading some of the articles.. Help us with our fight against mental disease~ ❤

2012 – Health Issues & Finding Strength

Hey everyone!! Or anyone who might be reading this bloggie~ eheh.. Hmm.. just wanna do a little review of last year~ honestly, i think no one cares, but i just wanna write it down somewhere so i can look back and see how far i’ve come~ people tend to see how far they are from their dreams, but often forgot to see how far they’ve come from the time they started out working towards their dreams~

What’s my dream? Aha.. i’ll talk about that in my next post~ truthfully, i’ve never literally dreamed about having my own shop. But i do have some goals in life~ Goals that i hope will keep me from tipping off the edge.. So far, they’ve been rather helpful.. especially since i was terribly down and suicidal last year.. 3 breakdowns.. that’s quite a number.. i don’t remember breaking down so many times the year before.. and no, by breakdown, i don’t mean just breakdown and cry thingy~ To me, breaking down, means stepping on the edge, feeling far too tempted to end everything, far too tired to continue living~ too tempting to jump off, too tempting to grab that shiny blade~ often, i’d punch the wall, the floor, anything hard, just to distract myself from the pain inside~ it helps a little..

but of course i don’t recommend punching walls/floor etc to anyone!! my doc asked me to punch pillows.. but personally, i’d rather punch floor/wall and hurt my knuckles, then punch pillow and risk hurting my wrists.. Yes, i’ve aaaaaaaaaalways wish to have my own punching bag~ Alas, i don’t think my ceiling can hold the weight of one.. Oo”~ if you’re living in Singapore, in the lower and middle income range, i’d suggest you talk to your psychiatrist/psychologist/counselor.. i know a lot of people assumed, if they have mental problems, they HAVE TO go to IMH.. well, FYI, it is NOT necessary. You can, like me, go polyclinic and request to get psychology/psychiatric help at SGH or TTSH etc.. I personally can’t bring myself to seek help at IMH, thanks to the social stigma people already stamped on the hospital.. -_- so, if you’re like me, afraid of the stigma, afraid to feel too much, try getting referral to other hospitals~

if you’re at the lower income, tell them where you stand.. i managed to get free counseling sessions for about 2 years i think.. stopped because i can’t continue talking to someone who “rejects” me when i shamelessly told her “i have no one and no where else to confide in with someone other than within this little room“.. oh well.. can’t expect much since i’m getting FREE counseling session.. she’s probably moody after just giving birth.. i stopped going for counseling, ’cause i know from then on, i can never bring myself to confide in counselors anymore~ but hey, everyone is different! i might just be a lil unlucky~ try getting counselor.. cause really, despite the not nice ending, i never regretted seeking help with Family Service Centre~ i learnt a lot during those 2 years~ a lot a lot a lot~ so much about myself and the people around me.. it’s mentally exhausting sometimes.. but it was enlightening and definitely worth the efforts~ i learnt to be stronger.. more emotionally independent.. i learnt what i want.. what i need.. what i must learn to live without.. why i hate some things.. why some things upsets me.. why some things scare me.. and when you’ve learnt the reasons behind all the whys, you’ll then be able to work on a solution to solve the problems.. 😉

Oh, i also heard you can use your medisave to help with the specialists if you’re getting psychiatric treatments.. just ask your specialist for the form.. am not using my medisave at the moment because when i tried to pay using it, the cashier went on a long tirade “aiya, subsidise a big only lah, a few dollars only, not worth it lah, no need lah ahr, i tear har, i tear ya, i tear this form ok, no need lah, a few dollars only…” i personally wonder how that lady got hired.. to work in a Psychological Medicine Clinic!!! if i weren’t feeling too tired that day, i might just ask to see her supervisor.. -_- a few dollar ONLYONLY she said.. to a paying patient in the Psychological Medicine Clinic asking for help with the medical bills.. wow~ but STILL!!! You know~ if you have a job that contributes to your medisave, you can try paying your specialist using it i guess.. after that biatch, i don’t feel like using mine.. afterall am no longer an employee that gets her cpf topped up every month.. so i’ll just use my own earnings from my stall.. maybe medisave money can use in future if there’s a real need… if it can be used…

jan 25 in hospital2012 had been a very very exhausting year.. thanks to my neighbor smoking his cig at our shared doorstep daily, asthma decides to make a comeback (after 12yrs break) in January~ and with a vengence.. i still recalled how scared-for-my-life i was when i was on my way to the hospital.. for some reason, i chose to take the train rather than the cab.. by the time i reached the counter to register, i could barely breath~ but of course.. i had to wait for my turn.. good thing there wasn’t too many people at ER since it’s the 3rd day of lunar new year.. i couldn’t stand on my own and had to be wheeled around.. i had to overnight there (good thing they gave me a bed) and breath the.. i can’t recalled what was it called.. basically breath the med every few hour.. i was SOOO bored i took a pix of myself~ Lolz!! XD looking back at this pix.. i miss my long hair!! T_T

Not long after that episode (March).. i’m not sure what exactly happened but i almost passed out in the train. On my way to visit my usual psychiatrist, i slowly started to break into cold sweat.. then my ears start to ring, and felt like it’s being crushed on the inside.. had to pull off my earphones.. and i started to worry when i found out for the first time what people mean when they say they see spots in their vision~ @_@ it’s like my vision.. seem to fade in and out.. i was scared as hell.. managed to find an empty seat.. took a moment to gather my bearings.. and continue to my appointment.. i don’t know why, but i forced myself to head up to my doc rather than go straight to the ER or general clinic for help.. i was a little tempted but when i was on my way, none of the nurses around me seem to care i seem breathless.. even the nurses in the lift don’t give a damn i was sweating and heaving~ people in the train also didn’t care.. i felt so crappy, i chose my psychologist instead.. then i went home.. and.. just my luck.. people at home didn’t feel like caring at all that day.. went to polyclinic the next day to get a generic blood test done.. broke down for the first time that year on returning home that day.. Reason i survived? I don’t wanna hurt my friend.. she believes in me.. and she’s had enough bad news already.. i don’t want to be another bad news.. she’s a wonderful friend. i don’t want her to hurt.. her sensitive nature, gave me strength~

i later found out from the blood tests that i have hyperthyroidism and slight anemia.. well, that most certainly explains why i keep sweating buckets of water just from walking.. and why i keep getting docs saying my heart rate’s too fast.. if Sinli hadn’t encouraged me to take a blood test, i wonder how bad my condition might get.. Thank you, Sinli!! already by then, my thyroid count was slightly over 3 times the maximum safe amount.. yes.. 3 times.. i was shocked as hell.. because of that, i had to take camazole and iron tabs on top of my fluoxetine… hnnnn…..

when you’re used to walking fast.. having to walk like an old woman.. not having strength in your legs to climb small steps at the stairs.. sweating and heart beating like i just ran a marathon even when i covered a few meters.. all this.. can be quite depressing to say the least.. i haaaateeeee moving slowly!!! yes, i can never live at countryside.. maybe a little too used to busy city life..

hyperthyroidism weight lossso, i diligently took my meds!! eat my prozac so i don’t get too depressed.. eat the carbimazole so my heart can stop beating like crazy.. eat the iron tabs (yummy choc scented) to recover my appetite and feel less light headed.. if there’s one thing to be thankful for.. i actually lost 7kg due to hyperthyroidism!! lolz!!

but it was short lived of course.. i gained back (almost to) my usual weight now that my thyroid’s almost back to normal.. i find my arms.. errr.. seemingly a bit muscular.. sometimes i wonder.. i do sit-ups, squats, and weights since i can’t run.. did i end up gaining some weight in muscles? O_O” maybe i shouldn’t lift too much weights.. fats + bigger muscles = nightmare for my shoulders.. and since they’re ramping up the rent at Vivo again this year.. i might end up postponing treatments for this shoulders for a while more.. also, i dropped a loooooooooooot of hair.. so much, i was considering going to some trichologist for treatment, but decides to save money and asked the doctors at National Skin Clinic first.. turns out hyperthyroidism plus asthma attacks had caused the hair falls.. it’s starting to fall less, almost normal now that my thyroid and asthma seems more stable..

Eating my prozac daily also meant i feel less down.. when meant my mood can be quite good.. and so when Fa is happy.. someone at home gets upset and annoyed that i am happy. Funny hey? but that’s my life~ perhaps he’s used to me being depressed or quiet.. and not to mentioned all the stress at work.. i broke down the night he asked, “have you eaten your medicine?”. Why? Why was i shot that question when i was laughing while watching a comedy?! I mean.. feel free to shoot me THAT QUESTION if i’m laughing while watching some psychopath show.. but what is wrong with me being happy and laughing while watching a COMEDY?! i shot him back saying, i’m laughing BECAUSE I ATE MY MEDICINE!!!! I SHALL EAT LESS SINCE I SEEM TO BE PISSING YOU OFF BY BEING HAPPY!!!

That night, i punched the wall and hurt my knuckles.. and once again wonder how did those actors on tv portray guys punching till their knuckles bleed and act like it’s no biggie~ i only bruised my knuckles and it’s enough to hinder my finger movement for over a week!! it’s freaking annoying!! i wasn’t even halfway through 2012..

The final time i felt suicidal in 2012 was some time between Nov-Dec.. what’s interesting about it is that.. i have NO records of what happened.. the only clue i had was a status i managed to post on fb and this super cute animation my friend shared~ Super cute song that, i’m so glad i didn’t attempt any of the Dumb Ways To Die~ Lolz!!

This vid reminds me of The Book of Bunny Suicides~ funny, cute.. and dunno why, makes me not suicidal~ lolz!!

i didn’t talk to anyone about that breakdown at all apparently.. not sure who or what caused the break down.. i only remember feeling alone, like i had no one to talk to.. i think i clamped myself up totally then.. though i still remember the pain from punching the floor.. why? Cause i struggled like crazy over 3 weeks DURING BUSY X’MAS SEASON trying to use the pliers to make the necklace’s chains and cords… maybe because of the pressure from the earlier part of the year.. and not having much support.. i was tired as hell catching up with restocking my goods for the Christmas season.. imagine my horror when i later found out there was another social flea market going on at the main aisle at Vivo~ sales was terrrible last christmas.. and our management decided to double our rent in November and more than tripled our rent for December~ Wheeee~ ..|.,

But hey! one must learn to find strength and learn to appreciate one’s own efforts.. When you have depression, you’ll tend to keep thinking about how much you’ve suffered.. how much hell you’ve been through.. and depression tend to worsen when you’re down with so many sickness.. having to take so many blood tests.. having to rush closing windows and blasting fans when neighbor smokes.. having no strength to move.. seeing hair keep dropping dropping dropping.. not being able to eat prozac daily cause someone at home feels that i shouldn’t be too happy.. i have to find other ways to be strong!

we all have different ways of finding strength.. and there’s physical strength and mental strength. anger and frustration helped me gain physical strength to combat hyperthyroidism.. i hate being weak physically. i hate not being able to walk fast and climb stairs.. so i forced myself to do some cardio workouts.. i know to not over exert, cause failure will only make me feel worse or give up. so i don’t aim so high~ i started out by doing dance aerobics!! XD i know i can’t jog or brisk walk with asthma.. so i need to start as light as possible. what better way than to have fun and exercise at the same time? 😀 so i did a few dance aerobics and funny chair exercise (suitable for old folks) on my own at home~ it’s funny, easy, light and best of all – i had fun laughing at myself~ it cheers me up! 😉 as i gained more energy (after a week), i do more leg exercises to gain back strength in my thighs (damn hyperthyroidism).

Notice most of the links is exercise vids by Paul Eugene? eheh.. don’t mind me.. look for your own videos.. i like to follow him last time cause he’s funny~ ^^” i love lifting weights most!! (more here) but of course, due to my wrists and shoulders, i don’t carry too heavy a weight~ bought a pair of plastic waterbottle dumbbells from Daiso~ =D if it’s just water inside, it’s light, good for a start.. over time, i add reject glass tiles into the bottles to increase the weight~ lolz!! XD but if you have sore tendons like me, PLEASE take care to not get too immersed and overdo it.. i more than once overdid it and strained my shoulders.. took over a week for the pain to go away. not fun.. @_@

Mental strength is harder to gain.. some manage to gain them through meditation and yoga.. i can’t do either.. my mind CANNOT shut up.. i blame Tim.. and since i always have this monster in my head, i might as well make full use of him, hey? Afterall, if it weren’t for depression, i probably wouldn’t have came up with Tim, wouldn’t have created my own identity, wouldn’t be where i am today~ and so, i always make sure i have a sketchbook and pen/pencil nearby~ or at least my phone with a sketch app and notepad inside.. i doodle any thoughts and ideas i get.. write when i don’t have the energy to doodle.. and store them in my phone or upload over at my fb page.. over time, i look back.. look at what i’ve come up with.. so far, i think i’m progressing~ lolz!! i’m moving at a snail pace, but at least, i’m still moving~

Frozenfa Reporting i learn to appreciate how far i’ve come.. instead of getting irritation at people taking pix of my posters without asking for permission, i learn to appreciate the fact that my designs are funny enough that people will (rudely) photograph (without asking for permission).. i guess with the advancement of technology, plus increase in stress due to SUPER COMPETITIVE way of life in Singapore, plus Courtesy Lion working ONLY once a year, i guess it’s natural that social etiquette here keeps dropping and dropping.. When a big group of people come and stopped and laughed and joked with each other while looking at the posters but not getting a thing, i thought “Hey, at least my designs can make a whole group people stop.. AND have fun~!” From there, i learn to appreciate people who just came to check out the designs i have.. people who’re on their way, and then suddenly turn back to look or paused to look at my designs.. “my designs.. can make people stop on their tracks!” XD and then, i’d feel even more thankful to those who actually bought a little something~ Some may buy just 1 mini badge.. some bought like a bunch of keychains or badges for colleagues.. then there are some more generous ones who’d buy a bunch of posters for their colleagues.. my heart swelled each time people buy in bulk.. some chose the glass tile necklace for their daughter/girlfriend/friends.. alas, as all my things are printed in small quantities locally.. and/or made by myself, alone.. so i can’t afford to give people much discounts.. =( i don’t have the capital (and space at home) to print in bulk.. nor do i have the money or confidence to pay and teach people to make for me.. ^^”

i look back at what i’ve achieved last year.. hmm.. i think i’ll put that all into another blog.. things that i’ve achieved.. my portfolio etc.. i think i rattle on long enough here.. O_O”

Frozenfa & SilentCries Stores at Zazzle – Updated!

Hey there, just a short one to let anyone who might be reading know that i did a lil changes here and there over at my 2 stores at Zazzle.com – Frozenfa and SilentCries. Namely, just a new banner design for each store and an addition of a banner that’ll link the stores to each other:

While I was at it, i also changed some of the color scheme i used for the Frozenfa store to shades of blues and yellows.. =) Zazzle is currently having a Limited Time Offer of Free Shipping On Orders Above $50!!

Enter code:
at checkout in the “Zazzle Coupons/Gift Certificates” box. The free shipping offer is for standard shipping to U.S. addresses only. Shipping charges will apply to oversized orders and orders being shipped on an expedited basis or outside the U.S. Offer is valid through June 30, 2012 at 11:59pm PT.

You can combine orders from ALL the different stores over at Zazzle!! Here are some of my recommendations:

Customizable Couple's iPhone 4 Case (His) Customizable Couple's iPhone 4 Case (Hers)

Baby’s Organic Creeper By Karin Taylor (left) and Tote Bag by Dreamz Boudoir – Udonchow (right)

The Littlest Elephant Zazzle Shirts The Orchid Belle Bags

Necklace by LisaMarieArt (left) and Mug by Tiny Treasures – Mui Ling Teh (right)

Tuxedo Cat &amp; Big Teddy Bear | Cat Art Pendant Cranes of hope mugs

Teapot by Ujean’s Whimsical World (left) and Badge/Buttton by BubbleDoll Teapots (right)

Cute Bakery Cupcake &amp; Swirls(Brown) Kitchen TeaPot China Rose Teapot Pin Badge

And while i’m at it.. I really wanna share Jasmine Becket-Griffith’s store with you!!! Love LovE LOVE her works!!!

&quot;The Sick Rose&quot; iPad Case The Last Leaves BINDER fairy angel fantasy

&quot;Owlyn in the Nest&quot; Coaster  &quot;Alice and Snow White&quot; Flex Magnet

&quot;Scavengers&quot; Mousepad  &quot;Poppy Magic&quot; Plate

&quot;Little Autumn Leaves&quot; Notebook &quot;Poisonous Beauties I: Belladonna&quot; Plaque

&quot;Senseless Prophecy&quot; Puzzle  &quot;Amongst the Koi&quot; Macbook Pro Sleeve

&quot;Penitent Magdalene&quot; Gift Box Premium Jewelry Box &quot;Strangely Lonely&quot; Macbook Rickshaw Sleeve Ipad Sleeve

&quot;Lute and Lyre&quot; Speaker Mending a Broken Heart NECKLACE valentine fairy

So pretty, my eyes bleed~ XD