It’s Depression Awareness Week~

I’ve been feeling kinda crappy the last few days.. A few problems came up and there’s so much to do.. I’m still annoyed by how limited I am with using wordpress.com for a portfolio website.. I think I might need to spend some money on my portfolio site.. sigh.. There’s still the reminder letter asking me to renew Frozenfa license.. I still wonder if I should keep renewing.. Frozenfa is like my baby, I can’t bear to give up on her..

So I was kinda surprised to find out just an hour ago that it’s Depression Awareness Week~ Read some articles from TheMighty.com and Blurt.. it got me thinking about how just last “night” I was staying up to listen to a friend’s problem.. when I end up being the one who got emotional, but hey, by the time i was listening to my friend it’s already 6.30am, I’m exhausted from working on my portfolio.. but somehow I end up writing about things I’ve always felt, but never mentioned out loud.. It was emotionally exhausting, and 1hr later i went to bed more emotionally exhausted than physically exhausted.. and even after a 7hr of on/off sleep, I still end up feeling exhausted most of today.

Now this really suck. There’s so many shit to do and the last thing I want is to be slowed down.. I’ve been encouraging some of my friends who’ve been feeling down.. and then now when I’m down.. I don’t even know who to help cheer me up~ 😄 Shit thing about surviving multiple breakdowns and receiving almost no help to get back up is that each time shit happens, you don’t know who to get help from. Sure, there have been several friends who’ve kindly offered to listen to me.. But I guess I’m done and tired of trying to tell people my problems, and even more tired of hoping to get some “understanding”~

I created Frozenfa to help me express.. and hopefully help others who can relate to my drawings express themselves too.. but it’s kind of sad how I seem to have lost inspiration to draw more as I see more and more of my friends artworks being stolen and sold as cheap made in china or made in Thailand products.. My friends.. those artists.. they’ve worked so hard to produce their art. to earn a living from it. And yet businesses in Bugis and Somerset and I don’t wanna know where else in Singapore, are selling those stolen designs on tote bags, leather purses and all like it’s nothing! People in the business scene can be so ugly, I lost all mood to make new drawings. I’ve even lost mood to open a pushcart again.

Sure, some may say “it’s not like your artwork is the one getting stolen”~ Easy for them to say so~ For years, ever since I started collaborating with Karin, every few months I’d have a nightmare seeing mine and Karin’s work being sold at cheap prices in shops. Imagine how traumatic is it for me to actually see my own nightmares 1 by 1 turning into reality? I saw Ellen’s works stolen, Toru Sanogawa’s works stolen, and now I saw sweet Karin’s artworks stolen!! The shittiest part is all these businesses CAN and WILL continue to sell stolen designs because not everyone can afford to hire lawyers internationally to start a lawsuit! It’s disgusting!! So much bullshit about IP rights and all, but in the end, unless you can afford a goddamn lawyer, you can’t get these thieves to stop selling your artworks. At most you can ask them to please take it down. They’d take it down for awhile.. and then they’d put it right back up~ I know because that’s what the pushcart at Bugis Junction did! How is a housewife supposed to afford hiring lawyers in multiple countries??? Who can afford that kind of money?! We’re not some superstars. We’re just artists trying to earn what little we can!

In a way I’m glad I never agreed to accept one customer’s offer for some partnership rights. She wanted to partner with me, saying that with her contacts, she can get products featuring TIM in bookshops like Popular etc~ But she kept insisting about how it’s cheaper to print and produce in Thailand, and even cheaper still if done in china. -_- And all the while she produced zero paperwork to show me what is her actual proposed plans. A few meetings was held but everything’s just verbal. And she expects me to agree? When she kept thinking of mass production in Thailand/china? My friends are not even printing anything in those countries and already their artwork is stolen and mass produced from there! Karin once bought me a tshirt from the local art market as a birthday gift, and that lady who wanted to partner with me even commented on how her friend bought the same design I was wearing at Thailand for less than 1/3 the price Karin paid for my prezzie! And we bought it from the original artist’s stall! There they are trying to earn a living in their home country, and in Thailand people are buying the same designs for less than 1/3 the original price and are damn smug about it!

So far I’ve only managed to photograph 1 of the pushcart at Bugis Junction as part of evidence. I’ll confirm with Karin for permission first before sharing the shop’s name with everyone. I sincerely hope then, that people will support by not buying their products. Original artists gets nothing from stolen artworks, damn it. How will you like it if you finished your job and someone else submits it to your boss and gets your salary instead?

Some said it’s silly of me to let go of such opportunities.. But Frozenfa is my life.. T.I.M. is basically me. I don’t want people stealing him. Which is probably why I’ve stopped uploading new designs online, though I have a whole bunch scanned etc.. He’s a monster. But he’s my monster. If I can feel so pissed and upset looking at all my beloved friends’ artworks stolen, I can’t imagine how I’d feel if Tim gets stolen as well~

I think I’ve been ranting far too much.. If you’re still reading this, thank you for hearing me out.. ^^” Sorry about the long ranting.. just need to get some frustration out somewhere.. and since it happens to be Depression Awareness Week, I think no better time to do some much needed venting hey? ^^” I better logoff and head to sleep.. Gotta company mum to polyclinic to get dental referral in… shoot.. 4hrs time.. argh! need to get new inhaler and prednisolone too since there’s been so much burning every day this Hungry Ghost Month and darn neighbor next door won’t quit smoking at our shared corridor.. >_<

It’s World Mental Health Day!

It’s World Mental Health Day!!

No no.. am not suggesting some celebration or something.. though i do wish that more people will understand about mental health, and hopefully dampen the annoying stigma the society tend to paste on us.

Basically i just managed to join Voices of the Dark and the Deep group as an admin. the main reason is because i was hoping to get a place for some of us to gather and share our experiences and help each other. due to time constraints, the forum’s not really well formatted and categorised yet.. but the first section i made is certainly for there to stay (i hope)!

Tips & Advices From The Experienced Section
i realized from Karin’s journal to help me, Clinical Depression & Silent Cries that many of us here actually do suffer from some form of depression or bad health or mental health problems..

What are some of the different Mental Health Problems?
Check out the list on the left hand side of this website or this page for those who have no idea what genre are those under (there’s that many different form and names).

i think some of us who have a form or another of mental illness will agree with me that the public need to be seriously educated that there are actually many form of mental illness eh? Well, we may not be able to educate everyone, but we can try by slowly educating the one closer to us.

Easier said than done.
is that what you’re thinking? hehe.. yesh, i read minds…
i agree. it’s seriously easier said than done. i know because i’ve been trying to educate 1 lady for the past 4yrs, and till now, i still fail. but hey!! does that mean i should stop trying? if it’s for my own good, why should i stop? it’s frustrating, yes. i agree. but it’s really important we try to educate those close to us ie. friends and especially family because they’re there to stay and (hopefully) support us someday.

Anyway, back to the point… the Tips & Advices From The Experienced Section is create with the idea of us sharing some tips and advices we might have, be it from personal experience, or from the experience of someone we love.

But it is in no way a professional advice section. So ultimately, if you or someone you know, if having a medical problem that might be related to mental health, please please do seek proper professional medical help. Visit your GP, or the hospital. Seek help. It’s nothing abnormal. How can it be with millions around the world suffering from it. Seek treatment. Work towards recovery. Be strong. And screw the stigma society paste on our medications, aka “Happy Pills”.

The ignorant masses will call it Happy Pills.
Many in general tend to think that it’s bad to depend on medication. “You’re get addicted.” “Why are you taking Drugs?!” “Are you nuts!?” and yadda yadda yadda..

Basically most of us know the general public believes that it’s bad to get addicted to our “Happy Pills”. But my advice is please please,

  1. stick to your medications as prescribed by doctor
  2. don’t bother taking extra (i’ve tried, it doesn’t work that way)
  3. don’t try to wean off it without consulting your doctor first (i’ve tried it and it backfire and even worsen my condition)
  4. don’t believe the public stigma about being addicted or dependent on the medicine.

Why the last statement? Because i feel the public lack 1 understanding about mental illness and how our medicine works. They are not professionals.

Yes, our medicine will not help solve the problem. that’s a silly notion to believe. BUT, the correct belief we should have is, our medicine is there to help us. Yes, it doesn’t help solve the problem. medicine is there to help us internally, where we can’t control, eg, the chemicals in our brain or the hormones our body releases as time passes. (am not refering to teen raging hormones, but rather some illnesses DO happen due to our body changes, releasing of some hormones that may lead to things like weight gain or hair loss that can lead to depression).

So yea. The medicines prescribed by doctors are supposed to help us internally. IF at any point it seems like it’s not helping or your problem is getting worst, return to your doctor and tell him that it’s not helping or it’s getting worst. tell him how is it worst (in detail). if there is no improvement or changes in a few months, seek a second doctor’s opinion.

Now, while our medicine are there to help us, we ourselves mustn’t believe in the public stigma that our medicine is a Happy Pill. No, it isn’t. It’s there to help us internally. That’s all.

Ultimately, we ourselves must work hard to solve the root of our problems.
We ourselves must work hard to improve and stay healthy.
We ourselves must find solutions to help us deal with our situations and problems.

We must work towards our own happiness, not depend on just medication.

Don’t ever stop seeking help. Take care of yourself. Love yourself.

May we all feel and get better by the next WMHD..

Take care. Be Strong. Be Healthy.

Love and hugs,
fa

Check out Karin’s journal here!! Help spread the word and promote awareness!! =D