Tonight, i came home to a bittersweet sight.. before me.. i see what seems like white flakes falling down from the air.. There’s no way it can be snow, since it doesn’t snow in Singapore.. i wonder what was it.. it looks beautiful, ethereal even, since it’s glowing thanks to the spotlight from the construction site.. i went up to my apartment, hoping to find the source of the “flakes”…
What i saw brought tears to my eyes.. the tree beside my tree, though fully bloomed now, is slowly shedding it’s leaves tonight.. Tree was fully unearthed today.. before this, it’s lower bark and roots still exist.. but today, they decide to remove it all the way down to its roots.. no more tree in front my room.. Tree’s no longer there for me to greet everyday.. to watch out for different variety of visiting birds looking for meals.. Tree’s gone.. i can’t cry to Tree anymore.. i can’t rejoice and share my happiness with Tree each time it rains.. this saddens me.. a lot..
i don’t care if you guys think i’m silly or something.. i grew up as a loner, without emotional support or understanding from friends or family. Tree has always been there in front of my window.. when i’m angry, i ‘d punch the walls.. then look at Tree to calm down.. when i’m sad, i’d sit down and cry, and i can see Tree peeking through my window, with the sun shining behind.. at night, if i cry, Tree will be there too, rustling its leaves.. when it’s going to rain soon, the wind will be so strong, i’d know it’s going to rain when i hear Tree’s leaves rustling loudly.. and when it does rain, it’s comforting to hear the pitter patter of rain drops – feeling happy for myself and Tree that it’s raining..
Anyway, seeing leaves being shed late at night from a fully bloom tree, when there’s no wind no rain, it feels nice.. bittersweet i guess.. it’s like i’m not the only one sad and shedding tears.. like there’s still hope.. there’s still another tree.. although not directly in front my apartment.. not as big and prolly younger than my Tree.. at least, there’s still a tree nearby.. Felt kinda bad scaring my bro.. he prolly thought my depression came back full blown out of the blue.. he’s always scared when he sees me cry.. ^^” i thought i could hold till bedtime before crying myself.. alas.. the bittersweet sight of glowing falling leaves simply broke my resolve.. ^^”