Happy New Year!!

Hi Everyone!! It’s been so so long~ Hope you guys have had a wonderful 2009! mine was eventful~ There were ups and downs.. from meeting lovely people, to meeting idiotic people, to meeting barbarians, to getting a kind and wonderful private student.. It’s been surreal.. One year.. Frozenfa physical stall has passed it’s one year anniversary.. =)

Instead of talking about my stall experience, i shall first do this questionnaire by Karin in response to her latest new blog: http://karintaylorjustdrawing.blogspot.com

1. Why do you love drawing?

12-20 yrs old: eheh.. truth be told, i’ve always hated art when i was young.. i was too lazy.. until i was 12 that is~ i had to draw 3 birds from the same family, so naturally i chose 3 birds of prey.. and for the first time, i learn to copy drawing from those birds encyclopedia book.. for some reason, i just had to follow as close to the illustration as possible, each bird filling up the space of an A3 paper when the illustration was only 3-5cm big.. hehe.. the 3 drawings took me 2 weeks i think (a few hours each day).. but it’s all so worth it when my teacher actually brought the piece to the front of the class and praised me! ^^” i was soo errr.. happy..? and it’s a weird feeling.. cos my teachers normally get sick of me not doing my art homework.. hehe.. that little gesture by her, Miss Lee, was the start of my love for drawing.. ^^”

i love drawing when i was in school cos my teacher/lecturer likes them.. ^^” i don’t get praises often, so when i get them in school, i feel happy~ ^^” it’s very encouraging when the teacher/lecturer likes my drawings or digital collage etc and reward me with good results.. i felt especially and secretly proud and delighted when they’d hang my work on display or even when i get the little “good” “well done” praises beside my marks.. hehe.. ^^”

Now? Read below to find out why i love drawing now~ 😉

2. Has drawing helped to relieve symptoms of anxiety, depression, stress or illness?

I love to draw now because it helps me take the visions out of my mind’s eye.. sorta.. when i was deep in depression (2005 onwards), i tend to get a lot of visions in my mind’s eye.. especially when i close my eyes.. some painful, some ugly, many gorey.. i don’t like them.. they’re like haunting me.. some are scary.. so rather than spend the night not being able to sleep with all this ugly visions, i stayed up instead to sketch them out.. they are after all, from within me.. instead of keeping all the ugliness in me, i decide to draw them out instead.. doodle.. i don’t draw well.. especially when i simply drew in the dark with hardly any light.. i can hardly see what i’m drawing.. i just move my fingers and wrists, just moving according to what’s in my mind.. i don’t see perfect clear 10mp pictures in my eyes, no.. lolz!! it’s just like.. i don’t know how to describe them.. they’re like there but not there, they annoy me, so i drew them out. ^^”

When i was no longer lost and confused (side effect of my med), i still love to draw~ =) it helps me express myself.. my feelings.. TIM was borned.. i think it’s no suprised that my first time is that of him screaming STFU.. hehe..^^” i used him to express myself – what i wanna say in response to my thoughts and feelings with regard to my environment, the people around me, and my feelings and thoughts in response to them..

When i’m drawing, i’m almost.. errr.. totally into it? hehe.. it’s like.. i think i might frown even.. concentrating i guess? in fact, i was once sooooo into completing a drawing that i end up with CTS (carpal tunnel syndrome), a repetitive strain injury. i just got sooo into the piece.. wanting to go into the as much details as i can.. spending too many long hours on it.. i end up triggering a what i think is going to be a life long pain.. cos although i’m officially discharged from the hospital, i still suffer pains and aches when i overwork a little.. so yea, DRAW WITH CARE!!! ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE DRAWING ON THE COMPUTEER!!!!! RSI IS SCARY!! in fact, it’s one of the factor that lead to my depression.. -_-”

ANYWAY!! i hate to be disturbed when i’m drawing.. it’s either i finish a drawing the moment i start it, or it’ll never be finished.. ^^” not all drawings makes me happy though.. i get disappointed by some – drawings that didn’t portray what i saw in my mind’s eye or my feelings.. but i love some and they are the ones i’d bring out to share online~ =)

oh yea, i still see things in my mind.. they’re much better than when i was in deep depression though.. they’re what one might call inspiration or ideas i guess? sometimes i’d see Tim doing silly things, things that i wanna do but wouldn’t do.. hehe.. sometimes i’d see more solemn or sad things.. like a someone hugging herself, hoping to be loved or someone looking up to the sky missing someone.. or a child by the bin, in the alley and it’s raining.. hugging himself.. So yea.. i see all these and more in my mind, but haven’t been able to draw them out since i’ve been busy with my stall.. so i’m looking forward to getting back to drawing this year, yep! X)

oh oh!! these visions also come more easily when i’m listening to songs i like! i like a wide variety of genre.. hiphop, pop, jpop, kpop, rock, oldies, several diff metal genres.. They’d give me different feelings and thoughts and thus different mind visions.. =D

3. Where is your favourite drawing place?

Honestly? no specific place really.. lolz!! i love to draw while i’m lying down in the living room on rainy days when it’s nice and dark out and cool at home and my favorite tree in front my apartment is nice and drenched.. i love to sketch in the dark with very minimal light when i was in deep depression. here are some of those i drew under minimal light, some time in 2001 i think~

oh i forgot to mention.. i CAN’T DRAW WHEN IT’S BRIGHT!!! LOL~ XD

i also love to sketch while waiting for friends at the coffeeshop or while waiting for my turn at the SUPER SLOW local polyclinic.. hehe.. the environment tend to give me inspirations, especially for my TIM series~ lolz!!! XD

but back when i was in late teens (17-19 yrs old), i love to draw while i was on the bus, on my way to school.. it beats falling asleep and waking up gorgy.. hehe.. i love it when i’m alone on the seat.. no noise.. just me and my discman.. hehehe~ and to see the trees and sky along the way.. sketching distracts me and helps me calm down from the crap i often get from home. here are some of them..

Hell! when i was working (in a company), i’d even sketch during meetings!!! lolz!! i bet some of you out there do that too! XD sometimes the boss(es) just bore me with the same old shit talk and i’d just doodle draw instead of taking notes.. the bosses later made me sooooOOOO stressed and pissed, i even came up with 2 drawings i love, but haven’t been able to digitise them yet..

So there you go!!! i think i might have bore some of you to death.. hehe~ XD Thanks for reading my blog once again! am so happy to be back in the www~ looking forward to blogging about my experiences with my physical store~ will work on that once i’m done with this one keychains order i need to rush out~ Till then, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!! =D

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