Different Types Thyroid Issues

There are several types of thyroid problems such as HyperthyroidismHypothyroidism and Thyroid Storm and, Thyroid Cancer. The symptoms might not be very obvious, so it’s important to know them so that you can get yourself checked and get treatment early.

I had hyperthyroidism a few years back and I didn’t even know I had it. I was lucky because my best friend kept asking why do I swear so much and so easily? Initially I thought it was just a normal thing for fat people.. Until after awhile, I noticed that, yea, it’s ridiculous how I’d sweat so much when I’d just walked a short distance. Something seems odd. It was only after I almost blacked out in the train that I finally seek doctor’s help. To date, I still have no idea if that scary incident was caused by asthma attack or thyroid storm.. I don’t remember wheezing, and it seems different from the asthma attack I ever got~ Asthma attack didn’t cause my ears to numb and cramp up and ring so suddenly.. My visions even blacked out a few times on and off until I manage to take a seat and shut my eyes.. I was out of breath, my heart/lung felt like it got flattened.. 😦

It was a terrible period I tell ya~ I love to walk fast.. So imagine, my heart will beat like I’m sprinting if I walked 5-10 meters at my normal speed. I had to spend many months walking as slow as an old granny and I was only 28yr old then~ -_-” I sweat buckets and go poop like 3-4x a day. Not fun at all i tell ya~ Though it’s nice to lose so much weight.. but the superrrrrrrrrrr fast heartbeat EVEN when lying down to go sleep is very disturbing. Whose heart beat like you’re jogging when you’re actually lying down to go sleep?? O.o And the hair loss is depressing.. =__=

So do take some time to read the some of the different thyroid problem symptoms and take care of your health, k~ ❤ If there’re some symptoms that seem to match, do check with a doctor ya? Usually if they suspect thyroid problem, they’ll be pressing your neck area lightly to feel for any swell and send you for a blood test~ If you’re from Singapore, you can ask a doctor for advice by visiting your GP or any of the polyclinics at National Healthcare Group or Singhealth like I did.. Polyclinic’s cheaper since I don’t have CHAS card~ XD

Hyperthyroidism is a condition in which your thyroid gland produces too much of the hormone thyroxine: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hyperthyroidism/basics/definition/con-20020986

Some of the symptoms includes:

  • Sudden weight loss, even when your appetite and the amount and type of food you eat remain the same or even increase
  • Rapid heartbeat (tachycardia) — commonly more than 100 beats a minute — irregular heartbeat (arrhythmia) or pounding of your heart (palpitations)
  • Increased appetite
  • Nervousness, anxiety and irritability
  • Tremor — usually a fine trembling in your hands and fingers
  • Sweating
  • Changes in menstrual patterns
  • Increased sensitivity to heat
  • Changes in bowel patterns, especially more frequent bowel movements
  • An enlarged thyroid gland (goiter), which may appear as a swelling at the base of your neck
  • Fatigue, muscle weakness
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Skin thinning
  • Fine, brittle hair

Hypothyroidism a condition in which your thyroid gland doesn’t produce enough of certain important hormones: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hypothyroidism/home/ovc-20155291

Some of the symptoms includes:

  • Fatigue
  • Increased sensitivity to cold
  • Constipation
  • Dry skin
  • Weight gain
  • Puffy face
  • Hoarseness
  • Muscle weakness
  • Elevated blood cholesterol level
  • Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness
  • Pain, stiffness or swelling in your joints
  • Heavier than normal or irregular menstrual periods
  • Thinning hair
  • Slowed heart rate
  • Depression
  • Impaired memory

Thyroid Storm is a potentially life-threatening condition for people who have hyperthyroidism: http://www.webmd.com/women/tc/thyroid-storm-topic-overview

Symptoms of thyroid storm include:

  • Feeling extremely irritable or grumpy.
  • High systolic blood pressure, low diastolic blood pressure, and fast heartbeat.
  • Nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea.
  • High fever.
  • Shock and delirium.
  • Feeling confused.
  • Feeling sleepy.
  • Yellow skin or eyes.
  • Symptoms of heart failure, such as breathing problems or feeling very tired.

Thyroid storm can lead to coma, heart failure, or death.

Thyroid Cancer occurs in the cells of the thyroid — a butterfly-shaped gland located at the base of your neck, just below your Adam’s apple: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/thyroid-cancer/basics/definition/con-20043551

Some of the symptoms includes:

  • A lump that can be felt through the skin on your neck
  • Changes to your voice, including increasing hoarseness
  • Difficulty swallowing
  • Pain in your neck and throat
  • Swollen lymph nodes in your neck

I will survive! (hopefully) XD

Inspired by a post i just read at Blurtitout.org – DEPRESSION: 10 QUOTES WHICH HELP US THROUGH TOUGH DAYS

“The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.”
– Juliette Lewis

Saw the above quote that makes me wonder, all those times i survived a breakdown, was i brave or just scared to leave this world~ ^^” I’ve had a friend who once said i was strong.. i’m always skeptical about that.. was i strong..? i thought i was just a coward for fearing death~ i mean, you never know what’s on the other side, especially for someone who has no faith in religion like me.. ideally i’d simply stop existing. BUT if my “appointed” religion happens to be the real deal, then for sure i’d be tossed into hell.. and if that really were to happen, i might as well i continue living in this world and try enjoy what little happiness i can find first..? tho yea, they say depression is almost like having hell inside your head already.. but i think hell if really exist will be depression x 2 at least? O.o better to play safe and try stay alive as long as possible..

I don’t know what made me continue living.. maybe it’s the fear that hell might exist. i felt like i was trapped inside a glass cage. people outside looking at me, laughing, leering, condescending~ but one day, finally, someone nice reached out to me from another side of the cage.. it was amazing to meet someone so understanding, so accepting~ so years ago, when i broke down, I kept telling myself..

Don’t.. Don’t do it.. angel will be so sad.. you don’t want to make angel sad..
angel already has so much problem.. don’t upset angel…

i survived that breakdown. but the next thing i know, the troubled angel had to let go. it felt terrible then – to be left alone again to face all the meanies outside.. i thought we could help each other~ i don’t hate or blame the angel. on the contrary, i still worry for her and always wish her well~ i just felt useless for not being able to help.. it’s hard to help someone who couldn’t talk to you..

And so, the next breakdown i had after that incident, i somehow overcome it without any support. as usual, there’s no one to calm me down or talk to me. but the problem is that by then, i can’t even give myself a reason as to why i shouldn’t do anything harmful. so i don’t know how i somehow survived that breakdown really.. not trying to blow my own trumpet, but i’m still amazed and wonder how the hell i passed that day.. it’s weird~ there were so many tempting factors. so many theories i knew that can help me successfully end this life.. i don’t know how i avoided trying anything that day though.. Maybe that was when i came up with the don’t go to hell yet idea~? ^^”

every other day, i can hear those meanies, but i distance myself away from them by not looking at them.. there’s also bloody tim in my head to deal with.. i distract myself by playing games. but it doesn’t change the fact that they exist. i may not hear them much, but i still recall sometimes. it’s hard not to. easy for people to tell me “don’t think about it”.. well, i’m the one with depression, so yea~ you don’t tell someone with cancer to stop producing cancerous cells right? O.o i’m tired of hearing such advice~ =__=” I was lucky during my last breakdown~ i told a friend –

“i’ve lost faith in religion, family, counselor, friends, and doctor.
i don’t even know what’s keeping me alive.”

kinda odd to say that to a friend hey..? ^^” but yea, i’m glad she was there for me to text to.. i somehow made it through that day.. and somehow slowly improve little by little. took me about a month-ish to feel “normal” again.. kinda makes me envious of people who can simply “don’t care about them” or “don’t think about it”.. wish it’s that easy for me~

For now it feels like my cage is expanding.. feels like there’s more space for me to move around.. in fact it’s almost starting to feel like i can walk in parallel with those people on the outside.. makes me kinda hopeful.. and scared.. hehe.. after more than 10yrs of crap, it can be scary to get hopeful~ XD so i’m prepared for the worst.. just in case this cage starts shrinking again.. just in case the glass gets thin again and i can hear the meanies outside clearly again~ that’s probably why i kinda.. errr.. shut myself out~ ^^” or it is box myself in? lol~ when surrounded by people who can’t understand, trying to explain to them each time and failing every time can really add on to the negative feelings~

Many people tend to tell me to think positive~ i think they still don’t get the part about how, with depression, it’s hard to JUST think positive. when you’ve been falling down over and over and over again for 10yrs, rather than think positive, i’d rather think practical. I’d rather be prepared for the worst, so that when it happens, it’ll be kinda, “expected”.. i’ll not be too shocked or too hurt or too surprised by the fact that i’m breaking down, again. I know people avoid me for not being a very positive person~ it’s their choice, and i can’t help it. i avoid the positive-to-a-fault people too~ XD i prefer practical/ready-for-rainy-days people~

I must remember, i have to put myself first before others – because when i fall, there’s usually no one there for me but myself. I have to protect myself to live~

“You just keep living, until you feel alive again.” – Jennifer Worth

It’s Depression Awareness Week~

I’ve been feeling kinda crappy the last few days.. A few problems came up and there’s so much to do.. I’m still annoyed by how limited I am with using wordpress.com for a portfolio website.. I think I might need to spend some money on my portfolio site.. sigh.. There’s still the reminder letter asking me to renew Frozenfa license.. I still wonder if I should keep renewing.. Frozenfa is like my baby, I can’t bear to give up on her..

So I was kinda surprised to find out just an hour ago that it’s Depression Awareness Week~ Read some articles from TheMighty.com and Blurt.. it got me thinking about how just last “night” I was staying up to listen to a friend’s problem.. when I end up being the one who got emotional, but hey, by the time i was listening to my friend it’s already 6.30am, I’m exhausted from working on my portfolio.. but somehow I end up writing about things I’ve always felt, but never mentioned out loud.. It was emotionally exhausting, and 1hr later i went to bed more emotionally exhausted than physically exhausted.. and even after a 7hr of on/off sleep, I still end up feeling exhausted most of today.

Now this really suck. There’s so many shit to do and the last thing I want is to be slowed down.. I’ve been encouraging some of my friends who’ve been feeling down.. and then now when I’m down.. I don’t even know who to help cheer me up~ XD Shit thing about surviving multiple breakdowns and receiving almost no help to get back up is that each time shit happens, you don’t know who to get help from. Sure, there have been several friends who’ve kindly offered to listen to me.. But I guess I’m done and tired of trying to tell people my problems, and even more tired of hoping to get some “understanding”~

I created Frozenfa to help me express.. and hopefully help others who can relate to my drawings express themselves too.. but it’s kind of sad how I seem to have lost inspiration to draw more as I see more and more of my friends artworks being stolen and sold as cheap made in china or made in Thailand products.. My friends.. those artists.. they’ve worked so hard to produce their art. to earn a living from it. And yet businesses in Bugis and Somerset and I don’t wanna know where else in Singapore, are selling those stolen designs on tote bags, leather purses and all like it’s nothing! People in the business scene can be so ugly, I lost all mood to make new drawings. I’ve even lost mood to open a pushcart again.

Sure, some may say “it’s not like your artwork is the one getting stolen”~ Easy for them to say so~ For years, ever since I started collaborating with Karin, every few months I’d have a nightmare seeing mine and Karin’s work being sold at cheap prices in shops. Imagine how traumatic is it for me to actually see my own nightmares 1 by 1 turning into reality? I saw Ellen’s works stolen, Toru Sanogawa’s works stolen, and now I saw sweet Karin’s artworks stolen!! The shittiest part is all these businesses CAN and WILL continue to sell stolen designs because not everyone can afford to hire lawyers internationally to start a lawsuit! It’s disgusting!! So much bullshit about IP rights and all, but in the end, unless you can afford a goddamn lawyer, you can’t get these thieves to stop selling your artworks. At most you can ask them to please take it down. They’d take it down for awhile.. and then they’d put it right back up~ I know because that’s what the pushcart at Bugis Junction did! How is a housewife supposed to afford hiring lawyers in multiple countries??? Who can afford that kind of money?! We’re not some superstars. We’re just artists trying to earn what little we can!

In a way I’m glad I never agreed to accept one customer’s offer for some partnership rights. She wanted to partner with me, saying that with her contacts, she can get products featuring TIM in bookshops like Popular etc~ But she kept insisting about how it’s cheaper to print and produce in Thailand, and even cheaper still if done in china. -_- And all the while she produced zero paperwork to show me what is her actual proposed plans. A few meetings was held but everything’s just verbal. And she expects me to agree? When she kept thinking of mass production in Thailand/china? My friends are not even printing anything in those countries and already their artwork is stolen and mass produced from there! Karin once bought me a tshirt from the local art market as a birthday gift, and that lady who wanted to partner with me even commented on how her friend bought the same design I was wearing at Thailand for less than 1/3 the price Karin paid for my prezzie! And we bought it from the original artist’s stall! There they are trying to earn a living in their home country, and in Thailand people are buying the same designs for less than 1/3 the original price and are damn smug about it!

So far I’ve only managed to photograph 1 of the pushcart at Bugis Junction as part of evidence. I’ll confirm with Karin for permission first before sharing the shop’s name with everyone. I sincerely hope then, that people will support by not buying their products. Original artists gets nothing from stolen artworks, damn it. How will you like it if you finished your job and someone else submits it to your boss and gets your salary instead?

Some said it’s silly of me to let go of such opportunities.. But Frozenfa is my life.. T.I.M. is basically me. I don’t want people stealing him. Which is probably why I’ve stopped uploading new designs online, though I have a whole bunch scanned etc.. He’s a monster. But he’s my monster. If I can feel so pissed and upset looking at all my beloved friends’ artworks stolen, I can’t imagine how I’d feel if Tim gets stolen as well~

I think I’ve been ranting far too much.. If you’re still reading this, thank you for hearing me out.. ^^” Sorry about the long ranting.. just need to get some frustration out somewhere.. and since it happens to be Depression Awareness Week, I think no better time to do some much needed venting hey? ^^” I better logoff and head to sleep.. Gotta company mum to polyclinic to get dental referral in… shoot.. 4hrs time.. argh! need to get new inhaler and prednisolone too since there’s been so much burning every day this Hungry Ghost Month and darn neighbor next door won’t quit smoking at our shared corridor.. >_<

“Don’t Let Them Break You”

Earlier, I came across this by The Idealist at Facebook and thought I’d share it here.. along with some of my thoughts:

I think it’s a sound advice hey? However, if you do break down, remember to pick yourself up. I survived over a dozen breakdowns, damn it! What is important is how stubborn you are about not wanting to give up~ If no one believes in you, believe in yourself. If no one help you, help yourself! Put in the effort. I understand that sometimes it’s tiring as hell (I survived over a dozen breakdowns. Trust me, I can understand the feeling at least a tiny bit). But try to keep at least one word in mind – “Try”. Keep Trying. Dying might seem to be the solution but who’s to say what’s there after death?

If you’re lucky you might just *poof* and cease to exist. BUT what if you’re unlucky? if somehow one of the religion is true – who is to say you might not be in deeper shit after death hey? Keep living. Find help is necessary. If you can’t find a family/friend to talk to, try counselors. I’m not sure about other country, but in Singapore, other than Samaritans of Singapore (SOS), you can also get help from REACH: http://www.reach.org.sg/index.php/our-services/reach-counselling/reach-counselling-counselling-services

Their counseling fees is based on your household income.. From my personal experiences: bear in mind that they’re just counselors. Ultimately you are the one who have to make it work. Let them help you, but don’t get overly dependent. Don’t expect to go for counseling and exit the room with problems all solved or feeling happy as fck. They’re counselors, and they are only human. They will most likely help by asking you questions to help guide you on how to tackle your issues. I must admit, I often left their office feeling like I just got run over by a truck. It was often emotionally/mentally exhausting. But I learned so much more about myself and others in my life and what I can do to help myself. Take care~ ❤

Restructuring this blog~

Hmmm… I don’t think anyone reads this blog anymore, but I think I should just make an update hey? 🙂 I’m working on my portfolio at the moment and I’m planning to use this blog as a platform rather than spending on web hosting again~ As you can see, I’m already using a different theme and changed the blog’s structure a little.. Most likely I’ll have a static page load instead of my usual blog posts.. By the way, sorry about all the broken links in my previous posts.. seems like fb changed the url for loading photos~ =__=” I’ll work on loading photos directly via this blog instead later~ ^_^”

Mental Health on The MightyBefore I sign off, I’d like to share this facebook page that I’m a fan of: Mental Health on The Mighty. I hope, more people will check out their fb, or better still, their website~ Take some time to read the articles there, especially if you know someone who might be suffering from a mental disease. Sometimes, it’s very easy to think that that somebody’s just being moody.. it’s just a phase.. but once you’ve read more, you might come to understand that there might be a reason why the kid’s screaming out his lungs and throwing tantrum like a spoilt brat? Why the mother just staring? Why he’s hitting her? Why she’s cutting herself? Why she’s suddenly so so SO happy? What’s wrong with that nutcase?!

It’s not just a phase.. Mental disease is nothing like your typical flu~ It doesn’t go away just like that~ Try reading some of the articles.. Help us with our fight against mental disease~ ❤